Did you know that 75% of Americans have fights over money with their significant others (according to aWSJ/Harris poll)? So now that we know we are fighting over money with our spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends or partners – what should we do about it?
Meet in the middle. There are going to be money issues each of you feel strongly about. On the flip side, there are also going to be money stickler points you don’t care about. Give up that fight and you might actually get a little more leeway in the areas you really care about. Everything is a trade-off and you will instantly feel better when the trade-offs happen both ways. For example, you could get over the fact that he pays extra for premium sports channels if he could be talked into downgrading the car?
Set dollar limits – no questions asked. Each of you should come up with a dollar amount monthly that you can spend – no questions asked. Then you can truly budget the rest of the expenses.
Swap money duties. If you always pay the bills, give him a chance to tackle them. If he always handles negotiations with the refinancing or car loan, you take a stab at the next project. You will probably need each other to move on but it can only help to step into your partner’s money shoes for a little bit. In my case, I always deal with our investments. I handed those duties over to my husband for a project and it was an eye-opening experience!
What are you really fighting about? Chances are you aren’t really fighting about money issues but more fundamental communication or relationship issues. Step back and examine what is going on between the two of you. Maybe each of you needs to be heard and you can move on. Or maybe it is time to call the therapist? I am happy to refer some excellent therapists.
If you want to make the most out of your money relationship but don’t know where to start, buy and read the “My Money Matters” kit together. Pick it up here on Amazon!