My latest article from theDAILYMUSE.com.

She spends a little at a time, all the time. He makes big purchases from time to time. She shops at Whole Foods every few days. He just splurged on the iPad 2. And now they’re fighting.

Sound familiar? If you’ve combined finances with your loved one, it probably does—unfortunately, money is a common cause of relationship angst. But if you find yourself constantly quibbling, it’s time to do something about it before the disagreement goes too far. Couples who consistently fight over finances are 30% more likely to split than those who claim they do once in a while, according to Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University. And finance disagreements are the number one cause of divorce.

The good news is, love and money can get along! The first step to making it work is understanding what’s really behind our financial feuds. From my experience working with couples, here’s a closer look at the major reasons we’re bound for financial disagreement.

You’re Not Truly Honest

Ever left your mountain of shopping bags in the car so that you can sneak the new shoes in later, when your significant other’s not home? You’re not alone: According to an American Express Spending & Saving Tracker survey, 80% of couples keep secrets from the other about money.

Why do we cover up our spending sprees and money woes? For one, it’s easy—with online banking and multiple credit cards, no one has to know about your last trip to Nordstrom. And with increasing pressures—whether it’s a lack of job security or housing hassles or just overall economic angst—why not keep the peace by not bringing up every little transaction?

Well, because being sneaky doesn’t help your relationship, either. And it’s a downward spiral—once unhealthy money habits become part of our routine, they’re difficult to change. So be honest with your partner about money. That doesn’t have to mean calling home before you snag that dress off the sale rack, but you shouldn’t be lying or hiding anything, either.

It’s Not Really About Money

In relationships, the event that triggers a fight isn’t usually the real issue—what’s really wrong is something that’s been brewing for a while. Same goes for money squabbles—they’re not usually about dollars and cents, but rather about the broader issues in our relationships that keep us from seeing eye-to-eye fiscally. According to Betsey Stevenson, an economics professor at the University of Pennsylvania, “people are not really fighting over money, they’re fighting over an allocation of money.” Your recurring argument could be an issue of mismatched goals or priorities, or a lack of control over how money is spent.

Next time you fight about a purchase, take a minute to think about the underlying issues, and address those first. What are you really upset about?

For instance—let’s say your boyfriend or husband buys the new LED 70” flat screen TV without consulting you. You might not be upset about the actual purchase of the TV—who wouldn’t want a bigger screen, right?  What’s upsetting you is that, if given a choice, you would have earmarked the money for something else (the vacation you’ve always wanted to take). It’s not really about the TV, it’s about the difference in priorities and wanting equal say in your shared finances. If you start the conversation there, it’ll be a whole lot more productive than, “I just can’t believe you spent that much money on a TV!”

You’re on Different Pages

When it comes to money, men think big, whereas women tend to focus on smaller, daily transactions. And even beyond that difference, each of us has a money “type,” a way we look at and approach our finances. But most of us don’t know our own money type—and the likelihood of recognizing our partner’s is even lower. But not understanding each other is bound to lead to differences.

Sit down with your partner and take this Money Quiz, developed by renowned money therapist Olivia Mellon, to find out your unique approaches to money—whether you’re  a Hoarder, Spender, Money Monk, Avoider or Amasser.

When you’ve identified your money types, you can better recognize the strengths and weaknesses of each, says Lora Sasiela, Financial Therapist and Founder of FinanciallySmitten.com. That way, when working together on your finances, you’ll understand each other’s goals and approach, which “makes financial conversations and decision-making that much smoother and more productive.”

Once you see the underlying causes of your and your partner’s money issues, the next step is to learn how to overcome them and communicate better.

Originally posted on the Daily Muse. Join the conversation HERE.

Originally posted on Savvy Auntie – check out the article HERE

Holiday Budget Crunch? 10 Apps for Budgeting Now, Auntie!

Retailers are already stocking their shelves with holiday decor and gifts. Savvy Aunties always want to make the holidays special for their little snowflakes, but these economic times can really make that more challenging. Here are some savvy applications for an auntie’s smart phone or tablet that could make budgeting in time for the holidays much easier. Here are my favorites:

Mint
The personal finance winner overall

Pageonce
Same as mint but more features i.e. travel-related info.

ProOnGo
For business owners.

Mvelopes
For those that don’t want financial info online. A refreshingly simple way of tracking your spending by category.

BillMinder
Constant reminders to help you pay your bills on time.

Pennies
Perform a budget without the bells and whistles.

EasyMoney
THE personal finance app for Android users.

Pocket Money
Sweeping view of all your accounts and transaction.

Save Benjis
Compare prices right when shopping.  Just don’t shop more!

Morningstar
To track your mutual funds/investments.

Expenditures
This app is just for tracking expenses and income. However, they have made it much more FUN with features such as photo, sound and very user friendly screens.  

Finally - Your bank
To keep an eye on cash flow. Many banks now have their own apps!

Join the conversation on Savvy Auntie!

Women have no problem passing along the latest deal on skinny jeans, or forwarding that Groupon for a great new restaurant. We’ll bemoan our rent increase, and we might even share the price we paid for our new house with our friends.

But that’s where the conversation about money ends. We can talk about nearly every aspect of our lives—but when it comes to our salaries, bonuses, pay raises, and freelancing fees, our lips are sealed. Sure, comparing paychecks can be prickly, but staying silent is hurting us where it counts: our pocketbooks.

Case in point: Christine, a client I recently worked with, is trying to save for a down payment on an apartment. While we were plugging numbers into her budget, I realized that she was underearning for her job title and level of experience. But until then, she had no idea: When I inquired about the salary range for her industry, including her colleagues and friends, she admitted that she had never asked.

Ladies, it’s time to start talking money. It’s not competitive, backstabbing, or even embarrassing. It’s motivating. And it will increase your money confidence and positively influence your careers, savings, and self-esteem. Here are a few easy ways to help you get started:

1. Share Your Salary

No, this is not about picking up the tab for your group at your next get together (though I’m sure they’d appreciate it)—it’s about talking about what you earn with your friends. You don’t need to divulge exact numbers, but it’s OK to celebrate your 5% salary increase, commiserate over a smaller bonus, or talk about the new benefits your company offers. By making personal finance a commonplace conversation topic, you’ll get a better sense for how your salary and benefits package stack up to the norm.

2. Talk About Retirement

Ask a few close friends what percentage of their salaries they contribute to their 401(k) plans, explaining that you need motivation to contribute more to yours and a buddy or two to keep you accountable. Most women live longer than men, and thus need more savings, so retirement is an important topic to be thinking about—and discussing.

Just having that conversation can help you and your friends take concrete, more-informed steps toward a better retirement. Plus, it can open the door to talking about your finances in an unintimidating way.

Your next step: Mulling over your 401(k) mutual fund choices at happy hour.

3. Start a Money Book Club

A group of women who met at one of my courses wanted to continue the momentum of their new-found financial empowerment, so they decided to form a book club. Their first pick was Barbara Stanney’s Overcoming Underearning, a book chock-full of exercises to help you earn more, build your savings, and gain financial independence.

The club provided an environment where talking about finances was comfortable. It was a place where they could challenge each other to ask for a higher fee on that next project or think about making the switch to a job with a higher salary, and it helped them stay empowered.

Money changes won’t happen overnight, but they do happen. Since we all need a sprinkling of inspiration and motivation, creating your own money community with your close friends can turn your obstacles into financial success.

Originally posted on the Daily Muse.  Join the conversation HERE.

I am excited to be writing a regular column for Daily Muse, a career and lifestyle-focused magazine for professional women.  Check it out!  My first article for them….

Rachel, a normally level-headed 32-year-old executive at a large NYC consulting firm, suddenly feels short of breath when she picks up a newspaper or skims news sites online. With a master’s degree and a rapidly-advancing career, she’s used to pressure and deadlines, but between watching the debt ceiling debacle and seeing her 401k shrink before her eyes, she’s feeling panicked.

Whether you’re feeling like Rachel–or you’re just trying to make sense of the news headlines lately—you don’t need to be overwhelmed. Here are some simple steps to help you feel in control of your finances and keep your cool through market turmoil.

1. Check In

I’m an independent financial planner financial advisor. Most of the calls and emails I’ve received during these past few weeks have been from clients who just needed to touch base with another human being. They felt better immediately after hearing someone else’s thoughts on the markets and how to react. If the market is making you feel stressed, turn off the news and talk to a financial professional or trusted friend about small steps you can take—or just to reassure yourself that you’re not the only one who’s affected.

2. Organize Your Statements

Do you have multiple accounts, maybe at a couple different banks? Have you switched jobs and left lingering 401ks with a previous employer? Not knowing where all your money is can lead to a panic—and it sure won’t be soothed by the staggering number of statements you’re getting each month. One easy way to combat this disorganization is to register with an online budget and account aggregate site like Mint, Manilla, or Pageonce to see all of your statements on one page. (Your bank or mutual fund company may offer similar services.) Then, when the market starts to stress you out, you can see all of your assets in one place (and hopefully realize you have more than you thought you did!)

3. Simplify Your Banking

Once you’ve organized and combined your statements, do the same for your banking! Consolidate your accounts and 401ks in just one or two financial institutions. Choose a bank that won’t charge you fees and a no-load mutual fund company ( one that won’t take a cut of your investments upfront). Fewer envelopes and electronic statements every month will reduce your anxiety every time you check your mailbox or email.

4. Keep Buying

If you’re actively investing, keep in mind the common investment advice to buy at the “low.” Investment guru Warren Buffett recently told Fortune Magazine, “The lower things go, the more I buy.” Personally, I advise buying investments yourself, going through no-load mutual fund companies like Vanguard and Fidelity. By pulling the trigger on the BUY button, you physically involve yourself in the purchase process. If that thought makes you nervous, invest less than you otherwise would have so that if the market takes another dive, you haven’t risked too much. And if it goes higher again, you’ll have taken advantage of a bottom market.

5. Sleep Soundly

Financial worries are the biggest reason women have trouble sleeping. Nearly one in three women says she can’t sleep because of money woes, according to a recent study by Manilla. But getting enough sleep helps you manage stress and think more clearly. So, hit the sack! And if you’ve followed the steps above, you should have no trouble drifting off.

A recent article from DailyWorth.com:

Everyone is telling you to “sit tight” regarding your retirement investments. But financial planner Galia Gichon, founder of Down-to-Earth Finance, says there are three things you should do to ease fears and feel more in control of your money:

Open a vent. Gichon says it’s imperative to ratchet down anxiety, so you don’t make impulsive moves. It sounds simple, but venting to another human being; avoiding the news for several days; or consulting an advisor or other financial pro can be a powerful asset protector.

Run the (new) numbers.Yes, the impact of these last 12 years could lower long-term returns. But don’t panic before you run some numbers. Use this online calculator, and assume a more modest return of 5% annualized, instead of the common 7% or 8%. It could be reassuring to see how much growth is still ahead.

Do no harm. If you must take action, seek out lower-cost funds—which you’ve been meaning to do anyway, right?—or sell a very small portion of your assets to feel more in control, Gichon says. Or turn your attention to other aspects of your financial health. Is it time to refi? Pay off some debt?

You have a whole financial life; it’s not all about the stock market.

Breathe. How have you been treating your investments in this market?

By now many of you have heard of Mint.com.  If you have not, check it out!  It can save you a great deal of time managing your personal finances and gain clarity on where your money goes.  If you are already on Mint.com, check out Payoff.com.  I was interviewed in the NY Daily News to give my opinion on both online budget sites and which are better for different individuals.  Here is the full article:

SAVING GOES SOCIAL. WEBSITE ADDS FUN, REWARDS TO BUDGETING

BY PHYLLIS FURMAN DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Hey guys, look how much debt I’ve paid down!

Payoff.com, a new free financial website that launches on Monday, wants to help you budget, save money, erase your debts – and tell your friends about it along the way.

Like other money sites, Payoff lets you set goals and track your spending. But it adds games, rewards and connections to friends via social media to motivate you to keep moving along your path.

“Payoff will make money simple, social and fun,” said Scott Saunders, the company’s CEO and founder.

As you would on other financial management sites, such as Mint.com or HelloWallet.com, you link your bank, credit card, mortgage and loan accounts to Payoff.com.

But Payoff layers on some added features that try to connect your money to your life.

You start out by stating your dreams – like a trip to Paris - as well as more practical goals, like paying off a credit card or starting a business.

If you’re the type who likes to share, you can invite your friends through Facebook or via email, to comment on your dreams, track your progress and cheer you on.

Want some added incentive to stay out of Starbucks? Payoff.com will reward you with badges – the kind you got in first grade – if you do things like put money in a savings account and not touch it for a month.

The more badges you earn, the greater the chance you’ll win small prizes of $25 to $50. There are sweepstakes, too, like a $500 “Payoff Pays Your Bills” contest for people who join Payoff and “like” it on Facebook.

“It’s all about motivation,” said Payoff.com COO Eden Warner.

Payoff.com has been in a test phase for the last few months and has attracted several thousand customers and $4 million in funding so far. Investors include prominent New York venture capital firm FirstMark Capital.

The tech company makes money when users leave its site and connect with third-party vendors recommended by Payoff, such as online bank ING Direct and money-saving site BillShrink.com.

Over time, it will allow merchants to offer rewards to Payoff users who meet their financial targets.

Jon Stein, CEO of Betterment.com, a new online brokerage, said he believes there’s a market for sites like Payoff, which uses game dynamics and goal-setting tactics to help people stay on course. “They engage people longer and lead them to better outcomes,” he said.

Galia Gichon, a personal financial expert who heads Down-to-Earth Finance in Manhattan, said she has found Mint.com to be a powerful tool in helping her clients stick to their budgets.

But she said Payoff might make a good fit for younger people who want to be part of a community and have debts to pay. “They seem to be focused on people paying off debt, which Mint doesn’t seem to focus on as much,” Gichon said.

Whether a site like Payoff will appeal to you depends a lot on your desire to share information about yourself – Payoff does steer clear of revealing actual dollars and cents – and your willingness to link your accounts to a financial website.

To keep financial information secure, Payoff uses heavy encryption technology and does not store user names and passwords. Even so, some might be leery.

“I think the concept is great,” said certified financial planner Scott Brewster, president of Brewster Financial Planning in Park Slope, Brooklyn. “But if you are somebody who does not like to share information, this would not be for you.”

In the future, Payoff plans to add investments to the mix, but will keep things simple. “We will give you rewards for things like starting a 529 college savings plan,” Warner said. “The main thing is to offer motivation to do the smart thing.”

Do You Have Time to Be a Millionaire?  If not, read this article where I give tips and tricks on how to find more time to fit personal finances into your life …. and still go to the beach!

Who Has Time to Be a Millionaire? By: Cindy Perman

Whoooooooooosh! That’s the sound of life — and money — passing you by.

Three out four people say the fast pace of today’s society is making it harder for them to focus and stay on track with their long-term goals, including family, fitness, their job — and money, according to a recent survey by Northwestern Mutual.

The good news is that, when it comes to setting goals, financial goals are No. 1 — 72 percent said they set financial goals, according to the survey. Nearly two-thirds set family and fitness goals, while 55 percent set work goals and 54 percent set diet goals.

So, essentially, we all know that money’s important, but we’re just not making the time to focus on our goals.

“I’m not surprised at all,” said Galia Gichon, founder of “Down to Earth Finance” and the author of the “My Money Matters” kit. “I see it all the time: Bills get paid late or people deal with them at the last minute.”

Gichon says 75 percent of the clients that walk into her office have had to pay late fees of some kind due to their procrastination.

It’s like we’re kids and dealing with money is homework: We procrastinate these unpleasant tasks until the absolute last minute. If we have any free time, we’d rather go shopping, play golf or go to the beach. So what most of us really need is a parent to come by and tell us we’re not allowed to go outside and play until after our money homework is done!

The money problem compounds itself: You wait so long that you think, “Oh, I should spend all day Saturday dealing with my finances.”

That’s setting yourself up for failure, Gichon says. If you’ve procrastinated that long, then there’s a huge chance that you’re not going to spend all day Saturday — especially during the nice weather — dealing with your finances.

Instead, set a “money day” every week, where you take 15 minutes to just focus on money, Gichon advises. During that time, you pay your bills, give yourself a weekly cash allowance, check your balances, read one personal-finance article and set one long-term financial goal. Gichon says her “money day” is 8am on Monday. So start the week off right, and check “money management” off your list first.

Then you can go outside and play!

A few weeks ago, Daily Worth, a personal finance site I contribute to, asked me to submit new fresh tips about saving money.  I submitted the following:

“Put 50% of each paycheck into a savings account right away. Then, use your debit card and your phone’s bank app to force you, in a gentle way, to live on only what’s in your checking. Try not to tap savings, and once a month distribute that cash to your emergency fund, IRA, other goals.”

Full article here: http://www.dailyworth.com/posts/730-3-Experts-Help-Grow-Your-Emergency-Fund

The responses were emotional and visceral.  They ranged from denial, anger and intrigue.  There were also tremendous positive responses thanking for the motivation and requests to work together to support change in their money habits.

If you peruse the personal finance books, sites and articles out there, everyone is telling you to save more, create an emergency savings account with at minimum 3 months of expenses, maximize your contributions to your ROTH IRA or increase the percentage saved to your 401k.  If you are living paycheck to paycheck; saving 50% might be an absolutely ludicrous suggestion!  Did this tip make you think, comment, deny or push yourself to do a little more than you are already doing?  Or perhaps you are living a truly budgeted life, but you are motivated to earn more.  Then my job was successful. However, if you are frozen or discouraged and can’t move ahead with your savings; don’t despair.  Stay with me on this exploratory path of moving towards saving 50% of your income.

Two Women Prove They Can Do It

Over the last year, I worked with two women, self employed and didn’t have much to show in savings. One of them carried a great deal of debt .  They were both in their 40’s and needed to radically change their money habits.  Over the course of a year working together, the plan of saving 50% of their income shook things quite a bit and changed their money situation for the better.  There were months they had to dip into the savings much more than they would have liked but overall, their growing savings helped them sleep better at night.  Plus they both agree that their life hasn’t changed that much, they just spend differently.  The only caveat is they both don’t have children, which as we know is a huge but wonderful drain on a family’s finances.

Save to Spend

When I first met MP Dunleavey, she introduced me to her idea of creating different categories, such as a save to spend savings account.  I really liked the idea of being organized and grouping each savings with a purpose! It made it more likely that you wouldn’t spend the savings group if you knew it were allotted towards something specific such as home repairs or summer vacation. It definitely got me thinking about saving 50%.

Shooting for the Moon

Lastly, an attendee and favorite client in my Simply Money seminar challenged me during one of my exercises.  Everyone was sharing their money goals, which were mostly saving an additional $200 per month.   She stood up and challenged us to reach for the moon.  She asked why we were setting our goals so low.  Her comments hit me hard and have stayed with me.  As a result, I challenge you to save 50%.  If that is too much, then shoot for 40%.  Push yourself and shake things up.  You will find that you are choosing to spend differently, spend your time differently and be more focused on following through with your money goals.